ADD / ADHD

ADD and ADHD are not HANDICAPS.  They are not LABELS.  They are not BAD.  They are just a part of life for some people.  Do ADD/ADHD folks need to be medicated? some do, some don't.  is it BAD to medicate those with ADD/ADHD?  NO!  If they TRULY have it, and the medication helps them, then by all means, USE IT! 

The problem with medication though, is that all too often, especially in children, there is a MIS-DIAGNOSIS!  And if the child/person does NOT have ADD/ADHD, then the medications will really mess things up.  There are too many people on the medications that do not actually HAVE ADD/ADHD ... there systems get all jacked up ... and then there grows a stigma about ADD/ADHD medications. 

Why am I talking about these things?  Well, my husband, daughter, and son all have it.  I live with it every day.  There are times when it can get aggravating, yes.  But, there are times when I dont even think about the fact that my house is filled with those who have these dx.

All 3 of them have different reactions to theirs.  With Tom, he has to fidget a lot.  You will always find him with either silly putty, a small toy/lego, or something similar in his hands, as he absentmindedly diddles with them.  We have learned that while he does this ... he can concentrate a lot better.  His legs (mostly his right leg) bounces up and down constantly.  Most people dont even notice it, because it is only slightly moving, yet, it is moving none the less.  Again, it is an "out" for his ADD.  Though concentration is not his 'main' issue with the ADD.  He has a hard time with change.  I learned this the hard way early on in our marriage.  I LOVE change ... so, I used to rearrange our kitchen and livingroom in our first apartment, all the time. the microwave would move, the toaster would move, the chair would move, the end table would move, etc.  It took me quite some time to realize how hard it affected Tom.  Once I figured that out ... I stopped doing the rearranging. 

With Christopher, he received his dx at age 3.  We started him on medications at that time, but quickly learned that he was NOT ready for the meds, and took him off of them.  If you know Chris only at the school, you would never EVER guess he has ADD.  Once he gets on the bus to go to school, he is able to put the ADD "on hold" ... and is such a fantastic student!  He THRIVES on the structure of school.   Though I try to continue the same structure at home, its just not the same.  Then, when I pick him up from school .... all of the pent up energy, attitude, etc blows up all at once and he has a rough time for about half an hour.  But you know, Id MUCH rather have it this way, because he does fantastic at school .. and I can deal with his blow ups at home.  Im his mom, so its OK.  Though, he has 'other' issues connected with the ADD.  He has a very hard time sleeping.  No matter how tired he is, he has a very hard time going to sleep before 10 or 11 pm.  and thats when we are lucky.  There have been times when we have had to lay with him until past midnight ... hoping he would finally fall asleep.  But, we are working with him, and that is all we can do at this time in his life.

Gina hasnt officially received her dx yet, but we are working on that.  We are learning now that she has a very hard time concentrating in school.  Her attn is elsewhere.  Her teacher says that she can be looking at Gina, telling her some instructions, and Gina is just, there yet not.  And then, Gina can not remember receiving those instructions.  She doesnt have the excess energy that Chris has ... she doesnt blow up like he does ... but, she just cant seem to concentrate on one thing / task for very long. 

My mother in law has a LOT of experience with ADD/ADHD, as her boys all have it.  She has seen many different views on it.  She has experienced many issues with teachers, school leaders, etc, because of the actions of her boys.  She has watched the reactions of her sons as they tried many different medications ... some worked, some did not.  Some worked for one, while not for another.

There are many people who think that ADD or ADHD is an excuse.  well, for some, it might be.  But for my family, it is NOT.  It is a part of life, and we have learned, and are continuing to learn how to live with it, in its many forms and realities. 


So, if you know someone, or have a family member or friend who has ADD / ADHD .. remember ... you can make it a "label" an "excuse" a "handicap" .... but you dont have to.  Its not easy .... but its something that CAN be worked with and lived with ... :)