I am one week into another 8 week challenge, and I guess its about time to type things up here. Ive been using my paper journal so far, but, alas, I didn't feel like cramping my hand today ;) its interesting how lazy we as a people are now when it comes to writing. I CAN'T be the only one who prefers to TYPE things,, than to laboriously hand write pages of information.....
But I digress ...
We are now 3 weeks away as of today, from finalizing Maya and Gracie's adoptions. I am so thrilled I can't even tell you! We have had to say goodbye to EIGHT children .. some of them we knew were only short term in our care, while others were longer term, but that doesn't take away the fact that we cared for them,, fell in love with them (how can you NOT fall in love with a child?) and had to say goodbye to them. We had a few though that were "supposed" to stay in our family forever, and yet, things happened, and we had to say goodbye to them as well. But now, here we are ... 3 weeks away from REALLY, and TRULY finalizing the adoptions of two of our beautiful daughters. and there is nothing but three weeks that will stand in the way of this event.
Nikolas is now officially legally free for adoption, as of 7/13 ... and his case worker is working fast to get his case transferred to the adoption agency. Once his case is transferred, within the next couple of weeks, we can then get things ready to finalize HIS adoption. This means, within the next couple of months, our family will FINALLY "OFFICIALLY" be complete! No more case workers, no more lawyers, no more judges... NONE of that... just a NORMAL FOREVER FAMILY!
In the 13 years we have been married, 12 of them have been spent working to this moment. we spent years dealing with infertility and the pains therein, and then years of dealing with the foster care system (and the pains THEREIN) ... after 12 years, we are finally going to be able to just BE A FAMILY!!! OUR OWN FAMILY!
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it is oh so beautiful!
7.1.11
Solitude
I was wondering what to type about tonight ... closed my eyes, and all of a sudden I was able to picture something that happened when I was a young women.
When I was at girls camp, when I was about 15 years old, we had a planned moment of solitude. We were camping in a beautiful pine forest in CA. We were asked to take our scriptures, and go out (not TOO FAR, dont get LOST now LOL) into a private part of the woods ... where it is quiet, peaceful, and secluded.
Then we were to sit down on the forest floor, and spend that time as we see fit ... scriptures in hand ... in nature ... alone.
Let me tell you, it was, even to this day, one of the most beautiful memories I have! I can close my eyes and actually see the spot in my minds eye. smell the beautiful scent of the pine forest. hear the birds, and small animals as they wander the forest heights! It was SO peaceful! So serene! so ... close to my Father in Heaven.
I haven't done this (solitude in nature) in a VERY long time. I need to. its NOT easy to have solitude at the moment LOL busy mom of 5 and all that jazz ... but, (sigh) ... I think its that time again .. because I KNOW I will be a better wife, mother, and friend .... if I can be better for myself.
When I was at girls camp, when I was about 15 years old, we had a planned moment of solitude. We were camping in a beautiful pine forest in CA. We were asked to take our scriptures, and go out (not TOO FAR, dont get LOST now LOL) into a private part of the woods ... where it is quiet, peaceful, and secluded.
Then we were to sit down on the forest floor, and spend that time as we see fit ... scriptures in hand ... in nature ... alone.
Let me tell you, it was, even to this day, one of the most beautiful memories I have! I can close my eyes and actually see the spot in my minds eye. smell the beautiful scent of the pine forest. hear the birds, and small animals as they wander the forest heights! It was SO peaceful! So serene! so ... close to my Father in Heaven.
I haven't done this (solitude in nature) in a VERY long time. I need to. its NOT easy to have solitude at the moment LOL busy mom of 5 and all that jazz ... but, (sigh) ... I think its that time again .. because I KNOW I will be a better wife, mother, and friend .... if I can be better for myself.
6.1.11
"but Im telling the TRUTH this time!"
So, Gina is going through the wonderful phase of lying. AND, she gets SO UPSET if anyone doesnt believe her.
I have mentioned quite a few times that she needs to tell the truth more often, for us to believe her more often. And when I catch her in a lie, she sobs, "how come NO one EVER believes me, even when I TRY to tell the truth!"
Well, I was able to give her a great, BIG example tonight.
While I was helping Chris with his homework, I asked Gina to pour a bowl of cereal for Maya. A few minutes later, Maya came into the room and said that Gina still had not poured the bowl. I asked Gina and she said "Yes, I made her the cereal in the BLUE bowl that is in the sink! she already ate it all!" (which by the way, could NOT have happened because Maya happens to be one of the slowest eaters ever LOL) ... Maya shook her head and said "no mommy, she did NOT give me cereal." Gina yet again said "YES, I DID Maya!"
I looked at Gina, and asked her flat out, "did you, or did you NOT make a bowl of cereal for Maya?" she looked at me and said "but mommy, why dont you believe me?!?! Im telling the truth all the time now!"
I went to the sink, and yes, there IS a blue bowl there ... was it fresh? Nope. from this afternoon. I asked Gina again "did you or did you NOT make Maya a bowl of cereal? because THIS blue bowl, the ONLY blue bowl in the sink, is from this afternoon, so it could not have been from Maya's cereal. Plus, Maya is a VERY slow eater, so she could NOT have finished a bowl of cereal in the 2 minutes it took for her to come talk with me again."
Gina looked down, and whispered "no mom."
So, I used this as a learning experience for her. I asked her if she was telling me the TRUTH, or telling me a LIE when she told me that she made the bowl? She answered "a lie mommy". I asked her if she told me that she was TELLING the TRUTH "THIS TIME" ... she whispered "yes mommy, I said that" ... So I asked her to count up how many lies she had just been caught saying. She looked down and said "two".
I then asked her how she thinks I can believe her, if she even swears she is telling the truth "this time" when she IS actually telling a LIE. And I told her that until she can PROVE to me that she IS telling the truth more often, then I am going to have an issue believing what she says. And by simply saying "but I AM telling the TRUTH this time" isnt going to work, because she says that even when she is NOT.
If she wants me to believe her, then she NEEDS to tell the truth. when she IS telling the truth, most of the time I WILL know.
Ahh the joys of parenting.
I have mentioned quite a few times that she needs to tell the truth more often, for us to believe her more often. And when I catch her in a lie, she sobs, "how come NO one EVER believes me, even when I TRY to tell the truth!"
Well, I was able to give her a great, BIG example tonight.
While I was helping Chris with his homework, I asked Gina to pour a bowl of cereal for Maya. A few minutes later, Maya came into the room and said that Gina still had not poured the bowl. I asked Gina and she said "Yes, I made her the cereal in the BLUE bowl that is in the sink! she already ate it all!" (which by the way, could NOT have happened because Maya happens to be one of the slowest eaters ever LOL) ... Maya shook her head and said "no mommy, she did NOT give me cereal." Gina yet again said "YES, I DID Maya!"
I looked at Gina, and asked her flat out, "did you, or did you NOT make a bowl of cereal for Maya?" she looked at me and said "but mommy, why dont you believe me?!?! Im telling the truth all the time now!"
I went to the sink, and yes, there IS a blue bowl there ... was it fresh? Nope. from this afternoon. I asked Gina again "did you or did you NOT make Maya a bowl of cereal? because THIS blue bowl, the ONLY blue bowl in the sink, is from this afternoon, so it could not have been from Maya's cereal. Plus, Maya is a VERY slow eater, so she could NOT have finished a bowl of cereal in the 2 minutes it took for her to come talk with me again."
Gina looked down, and whispered "no mom."
So, I used this as a learning experience for her. I asked her if she was telling me the TRUTH, or telling me a LIE when she told me that she made the bowl? She answered "a lie mommy". I asked her if she told me that she was TELLING the TRUTH "THIS TIME" ... she whispered "yes mommy, I said that" ... So I asked her to count up how many lies she had just been caught saying. She looked down and said "two".
I then asked her how she thinks I can believe her, if she even swears she is telling the truth "this time" when she IS actually telling a LIE. And I told her that until she can PROVE to me that she IS telling the truth more often, then I am going to have an issue believing what she says. And by simply saying "but I AM telling the TRUTH this time" isnt going to work, because she says that even when she is NOT.
If she wants me to believe her, then she NEEDS to tell the truth. when she IS telling the truth, most of the time I WILL know.
Ahh the joys of parenting.
5.1.11
rainbows
ok . . . rainbows are interesting things. you cant see them if its simply pouring down rain. you cant see them when it is purely sunny. You can only see them when there is a combination. When there is water and light combined.
But, you can never CATCH a rainbow. Try as you might .. if you see a rainbow, and try and walk closer to it, you will NEVER get closer.
There are times when I want so badly simply to reach out and grab that colorful beautiful peaceful looking rainbow, and keep it all for myself. I can imagine the warmth of it .. the brightness of it .. the beauty of the shimmering colors even brighter as they are CLOSER ... but try and try ... it'll never happen.
BUT ... when I am having one of those "bla" days (which, sadly, has been a few too often lately .. but eh, thats life!) ... I can try and look for "MY" rainbow. If my day is 'cloudy' and feels like rain ... I have to be the one to look for the sunlight to be able to find my rainbow. I have to admit, there are times when it really is hard to find that rainbow. sometimes I dont really WANT to find that stupid rainbow, cause then it would mean I would have to find some sort of brightness in the day. sigh.
and again .. BUT ... I guess I should keep on looking ... cause when I DO find that rainbow, I can at least smile. it might not be my BEST smile, but its a smile. and sometimes thats all that counts.
But, you can never CATCH a rainbow. Try as you might .. if you see a rainbow, and try and walk closer to it, you will NEVER get closer.
There are times when I want so badly simply to reach out and grab that colorful beautiful peaceful looking rainbow, and keep it all for myself. I can imagine the warmth of it .. the brightness of it .. the beauty of the shimmering colors even brighter as they are CLOSER ... but try and try ... it'll never happen.
BUT ... when I am having one of those "bla" days (which, sadly, has been a few too often lately .. but eh, thats life!) ... I can try and look for "MY" rainbow. If my day is 'cloudy' and feels like rain ... I have to be the one to look for the sunlight to be able to find my rainbow. I have to admit, there are times when it really is hard to find that rainbow. sometimes I dont really WANT to find that stupid rainbow, cause then it would mean I would have to find some sort of brightness in the day. sigh.
and again .. BUT ... I guess I should keep on looking ... cause when I DO find that rainbow, I can at least smile. it might not be my BEST smile, but its a smile. and sometimes thats all that counts.
4.1.11
Today was one of those days . .
Today was for SURE 'one of THOSE days' ... it started out with Gina not getting ready for school, when she had a LOT of time to do so . . and the getting upset at me because I was NOT happy with her over not being anywhere NEAR ready when it was time to leave for the bus .... (we made it to the stop JUST as the bus arrived!)
Then there were other issues ... bank issues, bill issues, etc.
all in all, it was NOT the best of days. BUT ... it wasnt all bad.
I was able to keep on track with eating, drinking water, and exercising. The exercising actually helped de-stress me. I did half an hour of walking on the treadmill, and 15 minutes of working with my tummy cruncher. I turned on music and enjoyed listening while exercising. Then Tom came home, and we watched shows together. I was able to snuggle with my kids ... and enjoy spending time with my family, at home, just relaxing.
So, it might have been 'one of those days' .. but at the same time, it was a GOOD day .. or rather, EVENING/NIGHT. So, I guess, I really cant complain. I survived ... and am relaxed and OK this evening. :)
So far, for the 2 days I have been doing this second challenge, I have done pretty good. I am on target for all of the tasks, and, Im working on two, not one but TWO new years resolutions. One of them can be done daily, one of them monthly. So, I am going to KEEP them up and I KNOW I am going to do just fine. :)
Then there were other issues ... bank issues, bill issues, etc.
all in all, it was NOT the best of days. BUT ... it wasnt all bad.
I was able to keep on track with eating, drinking water, and exercising. The exercising actually helped de-stress me. I did half an hour of walking on the treadmill, and 15 minutes of working with my tummy cruncher. I turned on music and enjoyed listening while exercising. Then Tom came home, and we watched shows together. I was able to snuggle with my kids ... and enjoy spending time with my family, at home, just relaxing.
So, it might have been 'one of those days' .. but at the same time, it was a GOOD day .. or rather, EVENING/NIGHT. So, I guess, I really cant complain. I survived ... and am relaxed and OK this evening. :)
So far, for the 2 days I have been doing this second challenge, I have done pretty good. I am on target for all of the tasks, and, Im working on two, not one but TWO new years resolutions. One of them can be done daily, one of them monthly. So, I am going to KEEP them up and I KNOW I am going to do just fine. :)
3.1.11
and the new challenge has begun
Welcome to 2011 people! I am sitting here, eating my yummy 4 berry smoothie, while writing in my blog .. and fullfilling TWO of my points at once! hehehe
So, this is a perfect time to begin the second challenge. New years, bring new years resolutions .. and how many of us actually FOLLOW THROUGH with our resolutions each year? Well, I followed through with the first challenge .. lost 30 pounds, and 6 inches off my waist ... and I KNOW it works .. so, this time, I WILL follow through with my new years resolution .. because along with this challenge, we are asked to set a new years resolution, that can NOT be changed ... and we gain an extra point if we follow through with that resolution ... so Im set in stone baby!
This years resolution? keep a CLEANER HOUSE. Will I follow through? YES!
I will be going to the store and do some shopping today, so that I can have a kitchen full of HEALTHY, "challenge approved" food ;) .... and we are ON!
So, this is a perfect time to begin the second challenge. New years, bring new years resolutions .. and how many of us actually FOLLOW THROUGH with our resolutions each year? Well, I followed through with the first challenge .. lost 30 pounds, and 6 inches off my waist ... and I KNOW it works .. so, this time, I WILL follow through with my new years resolution .. because along with this challenge, we are asked to set a new years resolution, that can NOT be changed ... and we gain an extra point if we follow through with that resolution ... so Im set in stone baby!
This years resolution? keep a CLEANER HOUSE. Will I follow through? YES!
I will be going to the store and do some shopping today, so that I can have a kitchen full of HEALTHY, "challenge approved" food ;) .... and we are ON!
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